Category Archives: Humor

I’m back!

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Miss me? That’s what I thought. Domain server moved last weekend and I didn’t move with it.

Anyhow, I was talking to Jesus the other day:

Jesus: I have a hot date tonight.
Me: Really? Do you think you will get lucky?
Jesus: Are you kidding me? She will fuck anything that isn’t nailed down.

Do people still read blogs?

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Just throwing this out there. I was reading an article yesterday about MySpace going to the shitter in terms of popularity, losing ground to Facebook and Twitter. I tweet like once every 90 days, but nobody really is interested in what I am doing and I don’t give a shit what other people are doing either. Facebook, I like it. Basically, it pulls the best things about personal blogs together into a nice neat package. So, now there really isn’t a need for a personal blog which is what this blog basically is. I have a few ideas running through my head about a blogging topic that I think would generate interest. It may not be positive interest, but it would be interest. It would be a blog about toilets, more specifically my toilet. Maybe I make a poo in the toilet and I would snap a picture of it. I know for a fact we have all taken a good dump at some point in our lives and we were so proud of it that we wanted to show it off but were ashamed or embarrassed to do so. This could be an opportunity to share some of our best dumps. We have all had a friend or spouse that came running out of the bathroom saying something like “That shit was as long as my forearm.” It would be neat to have proof right? Maybe I won’t put the Toilet Blog up, but I think I would neat an idea like that.

Not that I am going to steal your idea, but what weird topics would generate blog traffic?

George Carlin Greatest Quotes

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I could read his stuff all day long. Blogzorro has listed George Carlin’s 101 Greatest Quotes.

Here are a few of my favourite:
2. Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.

13. There are 400,000 words in the English language, and there are seven you can’t say on television. What a ratio that is! 399,993 to 7. They must really be baaaad. They must be OUTRAGEOUS to be separated from a group that large. “All of you words over here, you seven….baaaad words.” That’s what they told us, right? …You know the seven, don’t ya? That you can’t say on TV? Shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker and tits.

14. The very existence of flamethrowers proves that sometime, somewhere, someone said to themselves, “You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I’m just not close enough to get the job done.”

16. Religion has convinced people that there’s an invisible man…living in the sky, who watches everything you do every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a list of ten specific things he doesn’t want you to do. And if you do any of these things, he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever, and suffer and burn and scream until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you and he needs money.

23. Reminds me of something my third-grade teacher said to us. She said, “You show me a tropical fruit and I’ll show you a cocksucker from Guatemala.”

32. Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?

41. Have you noticed that most of the women who are against abortion are women you wouldn’t want to fuck in the first place? There’s such balance in nature.