New product from Apple… introducing the iCrap

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Apple, along with the next release of iPad will be releasing a new product that you can use in your home. The product is called iCrap. The product will be used in your bathroom and will replace your current toilet. It will have much of the same features as your normal toilet, but the shine on the iCrap is much more crisp than your normal toiler while Apple claims that you won’t get that shit smell after you crap. The retail price is 3x your normal toilet. Apple fans are expected to camp out over night to get the new product… but there are also rumors that Apple is already working on the next gen version of the product called iPortaCrap. This product will allow you to take a crap on the go. So while you wait in lines for the new Apple products… instead of defecating in the streets, you can do your business in the iPortaCrap.

That is just gross

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Okay, I am not in high school anymore. I work in a professional environment. So, why is there 5 fairly new boogies in the male washroom proudly displayed over the toilet? I am thinking it was more than one person, cause 5 boogers? Not in one sitting I wouldn’t think. I had to share with someone. I guess that is the way the culprit felt as well.

What are the 10 albums you couldn’t do without?

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List the your 10 favourite albums of all-time. The rules are:
They can’t be live albums
They can’t be “Best of”
Only one album per band/solo career(ie. Black Sabbath or Ozzy Osbourne, not one from each)

Here is my list and in order:
1. Metallica – Master of Puppets
2. Nine Inch Nails – The Downward Spiral
3. Tool – Aenima
4. White Zombie – Astro Creep 2000
5. Slayer – Reign in Blood
6. Rage Against the Machine – Rage Against the Machine
7. Black Sabbath – Paranoid
8. Van Halen – 1984
9. AC/DC – Back in Black
10. Megadeth – So far, So Good… So What!

How to train your beagle not to act like a beagle

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If you are here to get some wisdom on how to train your beagle not to do the stupid things that he is bread to do… well, I am sorry to say, I have nothing for you.

Last night, my dog at 2:30 am heard a raccoon or bear outside. My idiot of a dog goes running around the house barking and howling like a fool. Have you heard a beagle bark and howl? Here is a clip of him doing it. Then imaging being woken up by that at 2:30 in the morning. Because of the echo that it generates, I actually thought we forgot him outside and he was asking us to come in. Nope! A small creature was in the yard. That was enough to set him off.

As far as training tips go, use treats. Get some training collars (electric fence, remote train, bark, etc). Most dogs with those collars take about 2 weeks to train. A beagle on the other hand… the training is somewhat ongoing. They are stubborn and smart… so, they will go back to being beagles and doing things as they please the minute you give them an inch.

Overall, the beagle is really lovable. Great with kids and loves being around people. But they are hunters, and their eyes are bigger than their stomachs. So, they will chase down anything. They are also quite strong for a smaller dog. My dog is around 27 lbs, and he nearly ripped my wife’s arm off when she took him for a walk and he decided to chase something. He also had porcupine quills in his nose last week that I had to remove by myself. I basically had to lay down on him and he was still lifting me off the floor. In the end, I place a towel over his eyes and got the last couple out. I gave him a treat at the end of it and all was forgotten… I am sure if he sees that porcupine again, he will attempt to sniff his ass again.